


Sam and the Starbursts

by Seralina



Series: Fluff and Pranks [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Candy, Fluff, Lots of pranks, Love, M/M, Pranks, Some minor Destiel moments, mainly sabriel, tiny bit of angst because it's me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 14:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18693265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seralina/pseuds/Seralina
Summary: It's finally time for Sam's revenge against Cas and all his ducks.  But Sam only knows how to prank one person and that isn't Castiel an ex-angel of the lord.  He may need to call in an expert.  Who you gonna call?{Light and Fluffy with a side of *minor* angst because this was a really hard pairing for me to write so I wanted to make it not seem OOC.  For VegasGranny and all the awesome wonderfulness she did my supporting the FicFacer$ Auction this past fall.  Everyone get excited for the next round coming this June!}





	Sam and the Starbursts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VegasGranny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VegasGranny/gifts).



In hindsight, Sam had years of experience as to exactly why ‘revenge plots’ were never a good idea.  Part of that was growing up in his dad’s revenge-driven hunting mania. And part of that was all those prank wars with Dean growing up which would inevitably end with him losing hair or having nightmares about clowns for a few weeks.

This led Sam to the conclusion that he isn’t the best at pranks.  With Dean, sure he’s decent, he knows how to press his buttons. But Cas… Cas and his damn ducks are a whole different ball game.  Sam knows he needs help.

Honestly, he should have just stuck to the ‘revenge never really helps anyone’ mantra.  

* * *

 

It was late one night in the bunker and Sam is in his room alone.  Four books to his right, already read and deemed useless. One book in front of him, two-thirds of the way done, and deemed mostly useless. And lastly, only one singular book to his left, deemed not very promising.  Sam lets out a frustrated groan and leans back in his chair, resting his hands on top of his head and squeezing his eye shut, he tries to think. 

_ Who could possibly help him with this? _

So far, cupids aren’t known to have a sense of humour.  And most of Cas’ brothers and sisters are untrustable dicks… He doesn’t even know what might bother Cas enough to constitute a prank on the dude!  For all the few hundred pranks he has imagined in the past few weeks... the only reaction he can imagine Cas having is,  _ I don’t understand.  Why have you made this cushion abject to the sounds of human flatulation? _  While he gives Sam that head tilting and eye squinting look that Dean just seems to adore.  

The more Sam thinks about it he can’t ever remember an angel with a sense of-... Well, he can remember one actually.

_ Gabriel. _

So that just means he’s back to square one.  Gabriel has been dead for years now but, had he been alive, Sam is pretty sure he would be first in line to prank Cas.  Sam’s hands scrub down his face.

_ Where’s the Trickster when you need him?  _

“You rang?”  Sam falls backward in the chair, the wind getting knocked out of him, he scrambles to gain it back and right himself to confirm what he’s seeing.  “Geez, Samsquatch. I wasn’t even trying.” Sam, finally manages to push himself upright and just stares. Golden eyes are twinkling back at him. Disbelief clouds Sam’s face.

“Are you-”

“Do you want me to pinch you, Sammy?” Gabe holds up his forefinger and thumb, playfully pinching the air in demonstration.  Sam’s laughing as he pushes himself into a standing position. Eyes checking him over twice and hoping beyond all hope he’s not hallucinating.  He would really love a win right about now.

“Gabriel-” 

“Woah, watch where this is going kiddo, or I’m gonna have to kiss that look right off your face.”  Sam just laughs again. Gabriel looks confused as he stretches out in his casual position on Sam’s bed.  Sam shakes his head, just so he can look away and look back to find Gabriel still there.

“You’re alive.”  Sam breathes out, a happy look on his face.  Out of seemingly nowhere a small silver object thwacks him in the forehead.  “Ow! What the-” By his feet lays a small chocolate Hershey Kiss. Sam looks back up at Gabe, mildly annoyed.  “Really?”

“There he is!  The Sam I know so well!  Furrowed brow, no sense of humour.  Thought I had walked straight into a rom-com for a moment there. Phew!  Close call!” Gabriel stands up, dusting off his hands and walking around Sam to check out the books he abandoned, while Sam still tries to orient himself.

“Does anyone else know?” Sam asks as he stoops to pick up the chocolate and sits on the bed.  

“No, and I’d rather they didn’t,”  Gabe answers as he leafs through the books and absently waves his pinky finger, righting the tipped chair so he can sit in it.  Sam’s face pinches, just as he opens his mouth to speak another silver projectile nails him in the jaw. “I’m serious, Sam. You caught me in some downtime.  It’s been a boring week.” 

Sam sighs, adrenaline still pumping through his system, but the happy cloud is starting to fade.  

“Why?”  Sam asks, an edge to his tone that makes Gabriel look up at him.  His expression is carefully controlled and Sam watches the tiny shifts though he can’t identify the emotions behind them.

“Well, since I’m super duper extra undercover this time, one can only handle so many strippers, gambling, and booze to indulge themselves.  Need to shake things up once in awhile. And pranking dear old Cassie? Well,” Here Gabe laughs, eyes growing distant. “It’s been a millennia or two since I’ve tried my hand.  Angel’s can be so hard to crack. But oh so satisfying.” Sam observes him again, as Gabe focuses on him once more. 

Some internal instinct warns him not to push, as much as he wants to… wants to ask why he abandoned them?  Why, if he’s been alive this whole time, he didn’t tell them? Why he keeps running? But instead, Sam doesn’t press.  Yes, he wants answers, but he won’t get them if he keeps pestering the cosmically powerful being who could disappear in an instant. 

“You know, Cas is human now.”  Sam can see the relief in Gabriel’s eyes at the change of subject.

“Is he now? Well, easy pickin’s then.”  Gabriel smiled standing up and plopping down next to Sam, snatching the secondary chocolate and proceeding to unwrap it.  Sam has been fiddling with the first one in his fingers and can feel it start to melt so he stands and sets it on his desk next to the lamp where it rolls slightly on its side.

“And him and Dean are… together.  Sort of.” He turns back to Gabe and the look in the angel’s eyes is sizzling. 

“Hmm.  Can’t say I’m surprised by that.  Or that you called me, must be hard to third wheel all the time, huh Sammy?” Gabriel wiggles his eyebrows at him, and Sam has to fight down the ridiculous urge to blush.  It hasn’t been so bad really. He hasn’t walked in on anything... yet.

“I… uh… No, not really.”  It’s not a lie, but it feels like a lie the way it comes out his mouth.  Gabriel stands, smirking at him, the air around them is weird like… there’s electricity on the UV spectrum just out of sight where Sam can’t see it.  And it made him nervous. It’s all very… weird. “So do you have any ideas on how to prank him?” Sam asks to which Gabriel shrugs, breaking the intense feeling in the air.

“Only a few million.”

* * *

 

“Gabe… all of those ideas are from  _ The Office _ .”

“And where do you think the writers got them from?”

“You’re not serious.”

“College buddies, Sam.  They hated me, but they admired my genius.”  Sam thinks about that for a few moments. 

“I think it’ll work.” Gabe smiles at Sam and it makes Sam smile back.

“And you’re positive old Dean-o hasn’t given Cas the tour-de-sitcoms yet?”  Sam laughs at that.

“No, they’re still stuck on Doctor Sexy season five I think?  It’s impossible to watch with them cause Dean will pause the TV every time Cas has a question.  Or any time Cas wants to comment on inaccuracies of the television medical field and then Dean will ask him to explain it.

“Wow.” Gabe thinks on that for a second.  “You think for a couple with so many years of sexual tension they would spend their time doing less boring things.”

“Thanks, Gabe.   _ So  _ not a thing I wanted to be thinking about.”  Gabe just laughs at him and tosses a pillow at his face.  Sam laughs and takes the pillow tossing it back. 

“You missed me,”  Gabriel says wagging a finger at him.  

“I did,”  Sam says, surprising even himself.  Gabe gives him a shocked look.

“Really?  Little old me?”

“Shut up, Gabe.”  

“Who knew that killing a guy’s brother a few hundred times was the way to his heart.”  A dark look passes over Sam’s face, the joking air in the room evaporating in an instant.  Gabriel has the gusto to look a bit guilty. “What’s that saying… about good intentions paving the way to hell.”  Gabe rubs the back of his neck not meeting Sam’s eyes.

“Is that your way of apologizing?”  Sam asks him but instead has to quickly dodge the pillow yet again.  What is with Gabriel and throwing things at him? 

“Now, the only way any of these schemes are gonna work is if we do them when Dean isn’t around.  Because he’ll just spoil everything.” Sam starts to protest but Gabe holds up a finger. “You know I’m right.  He’s got that overly-protective-macho-thing down to a tee. And we won’t even meet par if he makes Cas aware of what’s going on.”  Sam sighs.

“You’re right.” Gabe high five’s himself and Sam rolls his eyes. “But how do we keep him out of it?”  Gabe gives Sam the most devilish smirk.

“We start small, Samsquatch.”

* * *

 

“Hey Cas, want a Starburst?”  

It’s mid-afternoon in the bunker kitchen.  Sam is leaning against the island, a brightly colored bag of candy squares next to him, some spilling out onto the metal top. In his hand he holds out a pink one.  Cas looks at it for a moment, considering the wants of his body. Does it have any need for small bits of sugar and confection? Sam anticipates this.

“I know you’re probably not hungry.  But sometimes us humans just eat things like this cause it’s enjoyable.  Have you tried one before?”

“No, I have not.”  Cas is still staring at Sam from the doorway and Sam just laughs. 

“Dude, they won’t bite, look.”  Sam unwraps the pink paper from the candy, revealing a darker shade of pink that he plops in his mouth and chews. “See?”

“It’s unlike you to consume unhealthy food.”  Sam laughs at that.

“Nah, I just like to make Dean  _ think _ I’m a health nut cause it drives him crazy.  Plus, this doesn’t even count as food. Come on, Cas, live a little.”  Sam pulls another one from the bag and holds it out to him. This one is orange.  Cas steps forward and takes the candy.

“Thank you.”  He examines it for a moment.  “Does the color correlate with the flavor?”

“Yeah, that one’s orange.  Then there’s lemon, strawberry, and cherry.”  Sam tells him, indicating each corresponding color.  Cas nods at the new information, and then carefully unfolds the wrapper without tearing it.  Sam watches in anticipation as his friend finally places the candy in his mouth and begin to chew, eyes going wide.  Cas eye’s dart to the bag, calculating one of two things. Either how many are left in the bag, or how difficult it would be to snatch the entire thing from Sam without getting caught due to his tactical knowledge.  Or both. Yeah, definitely both. “You want another?” Sam offers.

“May I try pink please?”  Sam smiles and grabs one of the stray ones on the counter offering it to him.  There’s no hesitation this time, Cas quickly reaches for the candy.

Which promptly crushes in his fingers.  Cas blinks a few times as he holds, what appears to be just a wrapper.  

“Sam, this one appears to be faulty.”  Cas holds the misshapen and now empty wrapper for him to see.  Sam bites his lip.

“Oh, uh, here try this one.”  Sam holds out a yellow one, perfectly intact in his large fingers.  Cas reaches for it and frowns deeply at the small crinkle-ling noise of just... Paper.  Cas looks up at Sam and squints his eyes at him. Sam rubs his chin and hums in thought. 

“There was a candy in it when I handed it to you.”  Cas furrows his brows at that. He doesn’t need Sam to pass him the candy anyway.  Cas turns to the counter with the intention of grabbing one, but his hand finds nothing.

No little squares of sweetness, or colorful bag, no over-flowing bounty.  Just smooth, cold metal. Cas pats the surface a few times to be sure.

“Dude, what are you doing?”  Sam questions, stepping away from the island.  Cas turns to him, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

“Where are the Starbursts, Sam?”

“I only had a few, sorry.”  Cas’ eyes are practically slits. Sam puts his hands up in surrender.  “Sorry man, I gotta go finish what I was working on. Catch you later.”  With that Sam exits the kitchen at a very controlled pace. Cas’ eyes dart back to the counter; the only evidence of candy are the solitary wrappers on the floor.  Cas doesn’t know how to describe how he feels currently. But he doesn’t like it.

When Sam makes it back to his room and his door is shut safely behind him he bursts out laughing.  He faceplants on the bed, stifling the sound with a pillow lest Cas hears him. 

“See, I told you the key to pranking Cas is to convince him you’re not.  His confusion is the best.” Gabe’s sudden appearance only makes Sam jump slightly, turning his face out of the pillow to see Gabe chuckling too.

“That was… great.” 

“Oh Sam, that’s just the warm-up.  We’ve still got three opening acts, the main show, and the encore yet to come.”  Sam chuckles some more, smiling at the twinkle in Gabriel’s eye.

“Three opening acts?”  He asks incredulously. 

“Journey thought they were hot shit for a while there.  And not like they were wrong.” Gabe shrugs and Sam starts laughing all over again.  

“You trying to say we’ve just started our journey?” Sam bites his lip as Gabriel groans, then starts laughing. 

“Big top world Sam, someone’s gotta be the clown.”  Sam bursts out laughing which just makes Gabriel smile.  “You know, you don’t do that enough.” 

As his laughter trails off Sam gives Gabe a curious look.  “Don’t do what enough?” 

“Laugh.  It looks good on you.”  Gabe’s smile is sincere, forcing Sam to fight down that tight feeling in his throat.

“Gabe, are you hitting on me?”

“Always, hotstuff,” Gabe says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.  Sam rolls his eyes.

“So what’s next?”

“I’m so glad you asked, honey.”

* * *

 

“Hey, Charlie!  I didn’t know you were here.”  Dean greets from the balcony over the meeting room in the bunker, the door closing behind him as Cas also enters.

“Hi, Dean!” The smiling red-head addresses him from behind a medium-sized grey machine.  As Dean comes down the stairs she leaves her work to come to give him a hug. “I miss you guys, so when Sam started asking me advice about printers, I just kinda… showed up.”  Dean grins brightly at her.

“Well, we’re glad to have you.  How does cranberry and turkey stuffing sound?”  

“Like Thanksgiving,”  Charlie answers, going around him to give Cas a hug as well, which surprises the ex-angel slightly. 

“I’ve been assured that it is ‘better than Thanksgiving’ due to the addition of chili pepper flakes.  Sweet and spicy are apparently the ultimate flavour combination.” Cas tells her over her head, making her laugh lightly.

“Damn right it is.  My body is a temple and I deserve all the delicious shit I want.”  With that Dean makes his way toward the kitchen. 

“He found the recipe on Pinterest, but don’t let him know I told you.  He thinks its a website for something called an ‘empty nester’.” Cas tells her with real air quotes to accompany the hilarity.  Through her giggles, Charlie manages to add on.

“They do know how to cook though.”  Then she returns to the task of the printer.  Cas watches her as she plugs in a few wires, presses a few buttons and then, “Voila!”  Charlie says with a flourish and a turn. She wipes her hands. “All done. I’m gonna let Sam know.  See you in a bit.” Then she bounces off down the hall. Cas smiles after her, always glad for her presence.  Even before he met her, he knew he would like her. Dean always had the biggest smiles when sharing stories of her.  

Across the room, the printer lights up with a whirring noise, closely followed by a noise like a small train starting up.  Cas walks closer to inspect it. A white piece of paper peeks out of the device like a tongue. And with each chugging noise, a centimeter more of paper is revealed.  After a few moments of this, the device spits the rest of the paper out, where it flutters to rest on the ground. Curious, Cas picks it up and turns it over to reveal a short message. 

 

_ November 1st, 2014 _

_ Dear Castiel, _

_ I know this is your first time reading a freshly printed sheet of paper.  So this may come as a shock, but I have a warning. So heed this message.  _

_ The ‘Craisins’ are poisoned, do not let Dean put them in dinner tonight. _

_ This is of the utmost urgency.  _

_ Sincerely,  _

_ Castiel _

 

Castiel’s eyes go wide at the end of the note.  He quickly stuffs it in his pocket, thinking of the consequences of messing with future events.  His future self must have thought this was worth the risk. He quickly jogs into the kitchen, finding Dean pulling off the top of the blue and white plastic bag.  He’s moving to pour it out of the bag and into the casserole dish when Cas smacks it from his hands, breathing hard. Just in time.

“Cas!  What the hell!”  The dried cranberries scatter everywhere in the kitchen and now Dean is looking at him as if he has grown a second head.

“Dean, they were poisoned.”  Dean’s incredulous look doesn’t falter just as Sam and Charlie round the corner into the kitchen.

“Well, who told you that nonsense?”  Dean asks. 

“Guys?  What happened to the Craisins?”  Charlie asks, surveying the maroon minefield.  Cas turns to her placating. 

“I received a message on the paper machine.”

“The printer?”  Sam asks trying to hide a laugh with a cough.  He fails. Charlie elbows him in the side.

“Yes, the craisins are poisoned.  It must have been deadly for future me to risk the causal nexus to send a message.”  Cas is so serious but the scene is so ridiculous Charlie bursts out laughing. 

“Dude, they’re not poisoned.  See?” Dean plucks one off the counter and pops it in his mouth.  Cas’ eyes go wide with fear. 

“Dean, no!”  Cas frets, but Dean brushes him off as he finishes chewing and swallowing the little raisin. 

“See, I’m fine.  No poison. Did future you happen to mention who’s cleaning all this up?”  Dean raises his eyebrow at him.

“No, of course, he didn’t.  Because in his future we all must have been dying from consuming poisoned cranberries.”  Dean laughs at that. 

“Okay whatever, go grab the broom.”  Dean looks up, and finds Charlie smiling at the two of them, Sam missing.  Charlie, however, looks like the cat who got the cream.

“So when did you two get together?” Charlie asks, and Dean blushes scarlet as Cas grabs the broom and dustpan from their hiding place next to the fridge.  

* * *

 

Sam’s almost to his room when he’s suddenly grabbed and then he’s… where is he?  

He turns to find Gabriel smiling at him, sun attempting to blind him, grass rustling in the wind.  

“Dude, what?”  Sam asks as he brings up a hand to shield his eyes so he can squint down at Gabriel properly. 

“Aww, come on Sammy.  Can’t I surprise you anymore?”  Gabe gives him puppy dog eyes, then snaps his fingers.  The view around Sam darkens and his hand brushes plastic.  Ah, sunglasses.

“Thanks.”  He responds and drops his hand.  “But seriously, what’s up? Where are we?”  

“Not even gonna guess are you.”

“No,”  Sam says with a laugh.  

“Fine.  Just thought I’d take us somewhere a little more private to discuss the next stage of our plans, that’s all.”  Sam raises an eyebrow at that, a little smirk curving his lips. Gabe suddenly looks away, making Sam’s suspicions grow. 

“Gabe, are you trying to tell me something?  This is a bit romantic.” Sam asks, voice full of humour, head tilted.  Gabe ignores him.

“Stage 3, the case of the mysterious wire!”  

“We’re seriously just gonna use all the pranks from  _ The Office _ ?”

“You don’t mess with perfection, Sammy.  Art is art is art is humour.” Sam laughs and Gabe smiles at him again.  It makes Sam feel warm inside, like how the setting sun does on his skin.  He doesn’t think about it more than that.

* * *

 

“Sam, what is this wire on the printer?”  Cas calls across the room to him, where he lounges in one of the armchairs by the chess tables, reading. “It’s small and red, and it wasn’t there yesterday.”

Without looking up from his book Sam responds.  “Don’t know, Cas. I don’t check the printer wires on a daily basis.”  

“Does the potential of an electrical fire not worry you?”  At that Sam looks up to meet Cas’ inquisitive look.

“Typically, I think the monsters or demons will get me first.”  Cas shrugs in seeming agreement, so Sam returns to his book. But he hears Cas add on,

“Though technically speaking, you did almost die in a fire when you were a baby.” 

“A fire started by a  _ demon _ .”  

“Still a fire.”  Sam hears Cas mutter to himself and Sam just rolls his eyes.  Cas will live and die by his semantics. “Sam, what should I do about the wire?”

“I don’t know, man.  Maybe see what it’s connected to?”  Cas nods at that, thinking it might be better to leave Sam to his book before he annoys him any further.  Cas turns back to the little red wire, pinching it in his fingers, he tugs on it lightly. To Cas’ fascination, the cord starts to trail along the wall.  He pulls a little more and the rug shifts slightly from where the cord must be tucked under it. 

The cord proceeds to be wrapped over the top of two bookshelves, around three of the table legs in the war room and down the hall. He follows it into his and Dean’s room.  Dean is napping when Cas pulls the cord out from behind their headboard.

“Cas? Wha-”

“Go back to sleep.  I’m on the case.”

“Mmk.”  Cas smiles at him, then continues to follow the little red thing, his frustration mounting.  This is precisely why he was worried about fires. Whoever placed this cord was not following any proper cord placement guidelines, Cas is positive of that.  Even if he doesn’t know what they might be, he’s positive it’s not  _ this _ .  Water and electricity definitely don’t mix he thinks as he unwraps it from the cold side of the faucet.  Yet it keeps going. He’s back in the main room again, trailing along under the wall trimming when Sam speaks up.

“So did you figure it out?”  Cas doesn’t even turn to look at him (Which Sam is very grateful for as he’s positive his face is bright red from holding in his laugh).

“No, but I am wondering about Charlie’s safety procedures.”  Sam doesn’t say anything for a few moments. Cas cocks his head as the wire trails under the door to the garage.

“Well let me know what you find!”  Sam calls after him as he enters the garage. 

By the time Cas has unwrapped it from around various mechanic tools and followed it around the tailpipe of the Firebird the ex-angel is fed up.  He doesn’t even feel relief when he notices that the little red wire goes in the open window of the Impala, only a vague foreboding if Dean knew someone had been messing with Baby. 

The door of the Impala creaks loudly as Cas pulls it open, finding the end of the red wire… in the cassette deck of the Impala. 

“What,”  Cas says quietly in disbelief.

Inside the bunker, Sam hits the floor, consumed by laughter at the sound of the large groan of frustration from the garage.

_ “THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE.”   _ Cas’ voice echoes through the bunker.  He’s still wheezing when he hears the unmistakable rustle of wings behind him.

“Do you think he even realizes we’re messing with him on purpose yet?”  Sam asks as he rights himself, sitting up on the floor. 

“That’s the beauty of the plan.  Of course, he doesn’t. He just thinks the humans around him are exceptionally frustrating in their ‘human-ness’.”  Gabe looks Sam up and down, making Sam blush. “And normally, I’d agree with him, but I know of a few exceptions to that rule on occasion.”  Gabe has a twinkle in his eye that for the first time makes Sam feel bold instead of nervous.

“Well, I suppose not all angels are winged dicks either.  I can think of at least one that’s pretty fun.” Gabriel smiles at that.

“Don’t test me, Sam.  You’ll be my next victim.”

“Who says I don’t want to be?”  Sam answers, trying to put on an air of cool and collected and not reveal how he’s actually feeling.  Gabriel splutters for a moment, wagging a finger at Sam.

“Tease.”  Gabriel accuses. Sam winks.  Gabe scoffs at that. 

“So what’s next?  Pavlov?” Sam inquires.

Gabe and Sam give each other matching devious smiles.

* * *

 

The following prank works like magic.  Every time Cas and Dean goes to watch Doctor Sexy, Sam offers to make popcorn.  Just before the theme music plays Sam makes the bowl appear. He keeps it up for three weeks because the longer the joke goes on the better.  Sam stops asking if they want it. But he keeps providing. So by the end of the fourth week, as Sam grabs his seat in the rec room, he watches in delight as the Doctor Sexy music starts and on cue Cas reaches in the bowl.  Almost over balancing off the couch in his attempt to reach some non-exsistent snack in the empty bowl. 

“Where’s the popcorn?”

“What popcorn dude?”  Dean asks. 

“The popcorn that we’ve had every time we’ve watched Doctor Sexy for the past month.”  Cas inquires seriously. Sam bites his lips, desperately holding in the laughter. Dean looks over at him and he clears his expression, coughing slightly. 

“Did you make popcorn, Sam?”  He laughs.

“No, I’m not the butler.  Go make your own.” Cas looks as if he could smite Sam, then he turns his glare on the bowl. 

“Then why is the bowl on the table?”  

“Maybe cause you guys don’t clean up after yourselves?”  Sam asks, eyes returning to the TV, trying to feign disinterest in the conversation.  

“We don’t need popcorn, man, we’re fine,”  Dean adds in, sliding an arm around Cas and trying to get him to relax.

“My mouth is watering Dean, it’s rather annoying.”  Dean raises an eyebrow at that, eyes twinkling.

“Are you having a craving?”  It’s hard to miss the flirting tone in Dean’s voice.

“And that’s my exit.”  Sam proclaims as he escapes the room, feeling the confused stares on his back. 

“Dean, we need popcorn.”  Sam hears Cas demand, to the response of Dean’s groan. 

* * *

 

“So what’s our finale?  Our big crash bang! Fireworks and hilarity!”  Gabriel inquires from where he lays sprawled on his back on Sam’s bed, fiddling with a puzzle box.

“I thought you were the idea guy.”  

“Oh Sam, shame on you.  Didn’t you know objectifying people is so last century?”  Sam rolls his eyes, leaning over to snatch the puzzle box from his hands.

“What’s gonna happen when this is done?”

“Fun’s never done, Sammy,”  Gabe tells him with accompanying infamous eyebrow wiggle. 

“Gabriel.”  Sam pleads, sitting down on the bed and tucking one of his legs under him.  

“Sam I-”

“Are you gonna disappear again?”  Gabe meets his eyes at that, all humour dripping out of his expression.  He pushes himself into a sitting position. The look on his face is so regretful Sam hates it.  “Don’t,” Sam warns. “Nevermind. If you’re gonna leave, don’t tell me. But if you are, don’t bother lying to me.”  Sam stands up suddenly and makes for the door. “I’m gonna go check our inventory. You can come if you want.” 

“Sam-”  The door shuts on his words.  Gabriel looks up and catches his own expression in the mirror over the sink.  Why does he keep running? 

He’s not an idiot, he knows what he has here is a good thing, even if it’s only Sam who knows he’s here.  It’s been the best month he’s had in eons. Gabe’s gaze wanders to the desk where a small glint of silver catches his eye. 

The Kiss.

Not in the same place Sam first put it, no, it was put there specifically.  Gabriel doesn’t dare hope that means anything, but he does fly to the bunker storage.  

He finds Sam reading the labels of the large black shelves, searching.  

“Any ideas yet?”  Sam jumps.

“Jesus, Gabe.”  

“Sorry, just me.  My half brother hasn’t been seen in quite a few centuries.”  Sam laughs at that, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“How many times have you used that joke?”

“Mostly during sex actually.  Along with the standard, ‘please don’t call out to my dad’ speech I give preemptively.”  Sam balks at him. 

“You must be joking.”  Sam deadpans, but Gabriel just winks at him, then saunters past him to the locked and warded boxes further back.

“What do these do?”  Gabe asks, mischief lighting up his features.  Sam comes to stand next to him, their arms brushing. 

“We’re not actually sure.  But we figure anything that heavily warded would be better left alone.”  Gabriel shrugs and wiggles his fingers, using his powers to get a feel for the various items.  The third box down on the left sets off some interesting bells, not dangerous just…

“Interesting.”  He intones out loud.

“What?” Sam asks as he watches Gabe crouch to retrieve it. 

“Well, for one, you checking out my ass.”  He winks back at his favorite giant and is delighted to see him turn slightly pink, opening his mouth to protest Gabe cuts him off.  “And for two, this is an embarrassment hex bag.” Gabe snaps his fingers and the box pops open.

“That’s a thing?”  Sam asks intrigued, reaching in and grabbing it before Gabriel can stop him. 

“Well, not sure what it specifically does… but I think you touching it activated it.”

“What?! Shit!”  Sam flings it back at Gabe, who curses his own reflexes.

“Double shit,”  Gabe adds as Sam looks wide-eyed from him to the small grey bag.  

“What’s gonna happen?”  Sam asks. 

 

In retrospect, Sam should have never expected to successfully prank anyone but himself.  But he never thought things would go quite like… this.

* * *

 

Back in Sam’s room, Sam is giving Gabe the sternest look he can manage under the circumstances.

“You know my mother used to look at me that way.”

“You didn’t have a mother, Gabe.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t imagine one.”  Sam rolls his eyes.

“Can we please be serious?”

“I’m not telling our brothers about this!”

“But you just admitted not ten minutes ago even you don’t know what’s gonna happen.  And if the hex was strong enough to affect you, burning the bag wouldn’t do anything!”  Sam says, exasperated. 

“Okay, yes, I did say all of that.  But what’s the worst that can happen?  We die of embarrassment?” Sam gives him a pointed look that seems to convey out of all the ridiculous cases he’s been on, this isn’t out of the realm of possibility.  “Okay, scratch that. But what can Thelma and Louise help us do that we can’t do on our own?” 

“Why are you so scared of telling them you’re alive?”  Sam asks, shoving Gabe, their earlier conversation coming back to accompany the other tension in the room.  Gabe glowers at Sam, but Sam doesn’t back down as he may have in the past.

“I’m not scared of telling them.”  Sam throws up his hands in exasperation. 

“Then what are you afraid of?”  Gabe doesn’t answer that, though he knows Sam is expecting one.  The silence carries on until Sam breaks it with a sigh. Gabe watches as Sam slumps onto the bed, putting his head in his hands.  That same guilt that he felt every time Sam starts to ask him the big questions presses on him stronger now. 

“He’s my brother.  And I.. don’t exactly have a good track record with family.”  Gabe admits and that isn’t the only part of it, but that’s the only card he’s willing to reveal for right now.  Sam peaks at him through his fingers, before letting his hands slide the rest of the way down his face. “And your brother has never been my biggest fan either.”  

“Tough for him.  I want you here, he’ll get over it.”  Gabe feels something in him squeeze at that, it feels dangerously like hope and he hates it.  Sam stands up and steps into his personal space. “As for Cas, he’s nothing like the rest of your family.  You and he probably have the most in common of anyone else in your family, if you gave him a chance he wouldn’t disappoint you.  I know that.” Sam’s hand comes up to Gabe’s shoulder and squeezes lightly. Gabriel nods, giving Sam a sad smile.

“Alright let’s tell them.”  Sam nods, a proud smile crossing his face.  Then he pulls Gabriel in for a hug, squishing him into his chest.  Surprise makes Gabe’s response delayed, but as he pulls in a big lungful of Sam he winds his arms around him in return.  And the hope worm wiggles his way into his heart again. 

* * *

 

Sam walks into the rec room and snatches the remote, pausing the show to a chorus of displeased exclamations.  

“Shut it, we need to talk.”

“Dude, not cool.  There’s like two minutes left.”  Dean glares at him and stands up to grab the remote from him, but Sam simply holds it out of reach.  “I will take you down.” Dean threatens. 

“Did someone request popcorn?”  Gabe asks, entering with a bowl as both Dean and Cas’ glares snap over to him in shock, Cas jumping up next to Dean.  Sam sighs, of course, he had to be dramatic. Damn archangel. 

“You couldn’t have let me prepare them?” Sam chastises. 

“Sorry, Sammy.  Can’t help myself.”  Gabe winks at him and Sam rolls his eyes with a fond smile.  Huh. Fond. When did that start?

“You’re alive?”  Cas’ asks, gravelly voice full of disbelief as he walks around the coffee table to come face to face with his brother, searching his face.  The nervousness in Gabe’s eyes is there and gone so fast, Sam’s pretty sure he’s the only one that saw it. 

“Well, where’s the fun in being dead, lil bro?  So much to do! Wires to plug in, cranberries to poison, popcorn to provide.”  He pops a piece in his mouth, humming in satisfaction and offering the bowl to Castiel.  Cas takes the bowl and pushes it into Sam’s hands without looking, then he’s hugging Gabe, squeezing him with whatever is left of that angel strength.  “Woah, hey there, kiddo.” Gabe hugs him in return, patting him on the back a few times. “Missed you too.” The sincerity warms Sam’s heart. Sam glances over at Dean who’s still frozen, mouth hanging open.  Sam takes the chance to put a piece of popcorn in it. Dean spits it out, turning to Sam, concern written all over his face.

“It’s really him?  You checked?” Dean asks.

“Yeah, it is.  Trust me.” When the brothers turn back to the… other brothers they’ve stopped hugging and Cas is just smiling at Gabe as he steps away.  Then Cas snags the bowl from Sam and begins munching. 

“So… why are you here?”  Dean asks, finally addressing Gabriel.  Sam and Gabe lock eyes and burst out laughing.  Dean looks between them, alarmed. Sam knows that look, there’s nothing worse than being left out of a joke.  

* * *

 

“You’ve been helping Sam to prank me for the past month-”

“Damn Sam, you were really upset about those ducks.”  Dean laughs lightly and Sam glares at him. 

“So, the Starburst were-” Cas asks before Gabe cuts him off.

“Obviously me.  Couldn’t let you steal all the good.”  Cas would probably smite Gabe if he still could.  Sam coughs, poorly trying to hide a laugh.

“The red wire-”

“That was me.  It was so hard not to react to that.  It was perfect.” Sam answers, dissolving into giggles and Gabe elbows him in the side from where they both sit on the couch.  Cas stands in front of them, interrogating them, while Dean sits on the coffee table desperately trying to hold in laughs to not garner the wrath of his boyfriend.

“He complained about that for the rest of the week!  I only just barely stopped him from calling Charlie about it.  Man, how did I not notice?.” Dean shakes his head, a smile on his face which quickly morphs into a stern expression when Cas turns to look at him.  “I mean I could have helped you out.” He placates.

“That’s why we made sure to split up the gang, Fred.  Didn’t want you to let Scoob in our wiley ways. Isn’t that right Velms?”  Gabriel stretches his arm around Sam to which Sam just gives him a mildly intrigued look.

“Doesn’t that make you Daphne in this situation?”  Sam inquires.

“You’ bet your sweet tushie it does.”  Gabe responds and boops Sam in the nose.  Dean gives the two of them a suspicious look at the interaction.  

“You two seem to have gotten closer.”  Dean states.

“Conspiring does that.  Brings people together. Warmed by the blood of their mutually acquired conquests.”  Gabe elaborates. Cas rolls his eyes, then tries to bring everyone back on track.

“I don’t understand why you’re finally actually talking to us and not just hiding in Sam’s room anymore.”  Gabe scoffs at that and Sam turns bright red, sitting forward so Gabe’s arm can subtly (or maybe not so much) drop away from him as he rubs his neck.  Thankfully Cas continues on. “I mean, it’s not as if you’d just come out to tell me you pranked me in such a bland way.” Gabe almost looks offended at first, but then he and Sam make eye contact that conveys the look of people caught completely in deep shit.

“What the fuck did you two do?”  Dean groans, all too familiar with that look on Sam’s face.

“Technically Gabe opened the warded box like it was nothing so I thought it was fine!”  Sam explains. 

“Yes, but what kind of season hunter just picks up what’s inside a warded box with no caution and then  _ tosses it _ at his compatriot?”  Gabe counters to which Sam has no good come back for.  He can only wince. Cas groans and sits down on the table.

“Please tell me you were at least able to sense the intent of the magic.”  Disgruntled and grave judgment aimed squarely at his older, and significantly more powerful brother.

“Don’t insult me, Cassie.  It’s an embarrassment hex. Simple but strong enough to work on me.”  Cas’ was still giving Gabriel the same look.

“But, you don’t know what it does, or what’s gonna happen and let me guess!  Burning it won’t help.” Dean adds in. Gabe just shrugs, rolling his eyes. “Friggin’ perfect. I hate witches.”  

“Where was the box, precisely?”  Cas asks, eyes suddenly alight. 

“Third shelf down one to the left, why?  You remember something about it?” Sam asks, hopeful.  To the surprise of the other three a bright smile breaks out on Cas’ face and he starts to laugh.  The two on the couch gape at him, but Dean just looks on confused. 

“This must be what irony feels like.”  He gives Dean a knowing look that makes Dean laugh too.  “If I remember correctly I read about it in one of the Men of Letters archives.  It’s specifically made to defend the target from embarrassments. Though they didn’t elaborate on that, they did say there was only one way to break the spell.”  Cas actually pauses for dramatic effect.  _ Friggin’ angels _ . Sam thinks.

“Well, what do we have to do?  Don’t leave us on simmer.” Gabe asks impatiently.  Cas’ smile is particularly giddy.

“You must act out your most secret romantic wishes with someone you truly desire.”  Both Sam and Gabe pale on cue, and Dean takes in an appropriate gasp so he doesn’t burst out laughing.  “From what I gathered, it doesn’t just mean ‘being romantic’ in general. It meant, oddly specific things, that one would be embarrassed to admit they desired.”  Cas wiggles his eyebrows in a mocking way that Dean laughs at, before turning to take in the deliciously despondent faces of his brother and the most fun of the archangels.  

“Cas, I-... You’re amazing.”  Dean says, turning the most disgusting puppy dog eyes on Cas.  

“Ugh, Sam.  Romcom moments of an extreme influx incoming.  Move, you’re in my projectile area.” Sam snorts despite the semi-bleak outlook and hits Gabe in the chest.  “Shield me, Samantha!” Suddenly Gabe’s in his lap, making Sam’s cheeks heat with embarrassment. Just as the thought of how cute that was, enters Sam’s mind, they fly out.  Replaced with the frustration of being embarrassed, he looks up and finds Cas’ surprised but humorous look and Dean’s skeptical one and promptly dumbs Gabe on the floor.

“You can’t do shit like that, Gabriel.”  Dean and Gabe gape at the sudden mood change from the one who would normally be considered the gentlest of the group. 

“Sam, relax we got this.”  Dean tries to help.

“No Dean, you’re not the one with the freaky witch hex on you!”  Sam stands up, stepping over Gabe still on the ground. “We need to get this sorted.”  Sam leaves in a huff. There’s silence in the room for a moment.

“Ah,”  Cas adds intelligently. “Perhaps that was the defense side of the hex.  Uncharacteristic actions to deflect from emotional discomfort.” Gabe looks up at Cas like a sad puppy.

“Should I go after him?”  Gabriel asks, sweeping his gaze to Dean, who thinks about it for a moment before shaking his head and standing up.  

“Nah, this is probably where I take charge.  Figure out what his secret romcom heart wants so we can get to breaking this thing.”  With that, he nods at Gabe and gives a little smile to Cas before leaving the room after his brother.  There’s a quiet that settles over the two celestial brothers in the wake of the Winchester’s exit. 

“Cas, how bad could this potentially go?”  Cas turns to Gabriel and meets his brother’s eyes, serious expression firmly in place.

“Knowing our luck?  We’d be lucky not to trigger another world ending event.”  Gabe laughs at that.

“Being human suits you, you’re getting funnier.”  He compliments, making a wistful smirk appear on Cas’ face.  

“So, brother.  Are you ready to reveal your most embarrassing romantic desire?”  Gabriel groans.

“Wow, no foreplay, you just go straight for the goods, don’t you?  How does Dean take that?” Gabe stands up off the floor to drop himself back on the couch, having the sinking suspicion that this may take a while.  

“I don’t understand that reference.”  Cas grumbles.

* * *

 

Dean finds Sam down in the shooting range of all places.  Not that they don’t practice when they can, it’s just not something Sam has ever enjoyed doing.  As Dean watches him load his third clip he has the sinking feeling that Cas was very close to the mark in all of his guesses.  Sam can be deadly when it comes to defense, Dean knows this firsthand. He also knows that if Sam kills someone because of some stupid hex it’ll hang over him forever and Dean just can’t let that happen.  So he lets Sam unload the third clip into the wall while he watches from the doorway. When Sam finally exhales, most of the tension leave his body, and Dean walks in to take advantage of the opening. He speaks as soon as Sam takes off the protective headphones.

“We need to talk about this, man.  The sooner we get it sorted, the less likely you’ll be to aim that thing at Gabriel next time.  And I know he’s an Archangel, but three full rounds have to at least sting a little.” Sam sighs and his shoulders sag, all telltale signs of some serious man-pain and trademarked ‘Sam Guilt’.  His brother flicks the safety then sets the handgun and headphones down on the little counter. He turns to Dean and nods his head, but doesn’t say anything. Thinking on his feet Dean chimes in again.  “C’mon man, let’s get out of here for a while. Just drive a bit, clear your head. Then we’ll figure out what makes your heart do the  _ Looney Tunes _ thing.”  Sam at least smirks at that before he turns and heads back up into the main bunker.

They’re both quiet as they grab their jackets and hop in the Impala.  Music starts up and Dean keeps it low as he drives up the tunnel and out onto the open road.  He smiles and taps lightly on the steering wheel in an attempt to match the beat of the soft rock song, content to just watch the landscape roll by as he waits for Sam.  Ten minutes pass before Sam finally speaks up.

“I know it’s just a hex thing, but I’ve never felt anger like that.  It was so petty and wrong that it made my skin crawl. Like I had to be anywhere but in that situation and I would do anything to achieve that.”  Sam sounds despondent and when Dean chances a glance at him, his brother’s gaze is locked on the view of landscape whizzing by. Dean grimaces as he returns his gaze to the road.  

“You couldn’t help it, man.  Anyway, we’ll get this figured out in no time.  So there’s nothing to worry about.” Dean hears Sam sigh and can see him nodding out of his periphery.  

“And it’s not like I actually was embarrassed by what Gabe was doing.  Didn’t mind it at all really, because he’s just trying to be cute and funny.  It’s his thing.”

“Not the way I would describe it, but okay Sammy.  Whatever floats your boat.”

“Shut up, Dean.” Dean can hear the eye roll in Sam’s tone, he doesn’t even need to see it. 

“So, what’s the biggest gushy love secret that you need to achieve so we can squash this tricky bastard?”  Dean asks, raising an eyebrow to accompany the quick glance at Sam. 

“Ugh, that’s the thing.  I’m not even sure. Not like I haven’t had plenty of pitfalls with romantic partners.  All those times dad picked us up and ran just as things got more comfortable…” Sam trails off in thought, mainly of miserably awkward pre-teen and teen moments.  He’s glad at least second-hand embarrassment or embarrassing memories aren’t triggering the hex, but he really doesn’t want to push it. 

“Well, let’s think about this,”  Dean says. “A chick flick trope check-list.  A list of weird romantic situations that all teenagers hoped they would get growing up like… kissing on a ferris wheel, or having someone hold a boom-box outside your window.”  Sam nods at that, turns around and reaches for his laptop bag then quickly secures a pad of paper and a pen.

“Got it.  So, we make the list and then I’ll circle all the ones I’ve wanted to do but haven’t done.”  

“Makes sense.  Quick and methodical. So… you got those first two?”

“Yep.”

“Alright, add slow dance at prom and… mistletoe!”  

“Making out in a movie theater.”

“Watching stars together.”

“Kissing under fireworks, getting dipped while dancing?”

“Sam, I don’t think we’d find a girl who could dip you.”

“Maybe if she’s a bodybuilder?” Sam adds half hopeful half joking but Dean just scoffs.

“Knowing you, she probably wouldn’t even be human.”  Sam gives Dean a bitch face for that. But he can’t deny it.  “Speaking of. We’re making a list, but how are we gonna find someone to fit the criteria?  It’s not like either of us have lives that lend time to crushes.”

“Nah, not really.  Some of us are way more into decades of self-oppression, followed by four years of straight up denial that we even might think about our best friend in ways that make us warm and fuzzy.”  Sam finishes with a mocking high pitched voice that earns him a sharp look from Dean. 

“Just for that, I’m gonna picture Gabriel dipping you.  What’s next?” Sam flushes at the thought but not in a way to trigger hex anger.  He quickly clears his suddenly tight throat and offers up another suggestion.

“Romantic spaghetti dinner?”

“Oh yeah, full  _ Lady and the Tramp _ .” 

“Being serenaded? Personalized poem.”

“Tunnel of love, haunted house-”

“Haunted house, Dean?”

“I don’t know, man.  I just know some people want the excuse of being scared to be able to cuddle up with someone.”

“Fair point.” Sam shrugs.  After a few moments, he adds a few more. 

“What’d you write?”  Dean asks.

“Uhh… Long walks on the beach, watching the sunset, and skinny dipping?” 

“How can skinny dipping be romantic, exactly?”  

“In the same way real life doesn’t usually imitate porn, jerk.”

“Bitch.”

* * *

 

Castiel’s phone dings to indicate a new message causing him to tear his eyes away from Gabriel who is sprawled out on his conjured therapist’s lounger.  The former angel can feel the beginnings of a headache pounding into his temples as he picks up the phone. Gabe isn’t exactly easy to talk through this whole ‘romance’ thing and Cas has only got the vaguest sense of what constitutes romance.  Though he’s sure all the various sexual roleplaying fantasies his brother has listed off in the past hour don’t check the box of ‘oddly specific’ or even really ‘romantic’. The message from Dean is a welcome reprieve. Thumbing open his message thread with Dean he sees the message he received was actually a picture and taps it.

“Caaaaaaas.  You’re not even paying attention anymore.”  Gabriel whines.

“Dean texted me.”

“No sexting during my therapy session.  Or you have to tell me what you’re saying.  Hopefully something about how his green eyes could make you-”

“He sent me a picture of a list.” Cas interrupts causing Gabe’s eyebrows to furrow in confusion.

“Hey, I’m not one ro judge kinks, but... lists are what you get off to?”  Cas rolls his eyes. 

“No, it appears Dean has sent us a list of potential oddly specific ‘tropes’... whatever that means.  Though I suspect it has something to do with the frequency they’ve experienced these ideals in movies or television.”  Gabriel rolls his eyes. Very verbose would be a mild descriptor for Cas since he met the Winchesters. 

“Let me see it.”  Cas passes over his phone without hesitation.  Gabriel reads over the list for a few moments, finger on the touch screen slowly dragging to allow the scroll function, when he abruptly stops, face going white.

“What?  What is it?”  Cas asks with concern, as he leans over attempting to catch a glimpse of the words on the screen though he isn’t able to.

“I think I know what I need to do.”  Gabriel looks horrified, he swallows once… twice, then passes the phone back to Cas and leans back pinching the bridge of his nose.  “Oh for the love of dad, of all the memories I’ve tried so hard to bury.” 

“I don’t understand, which one is causing this reaction?”  

“Numero doce,”  Gabe admits as Cas sits back down.  “Little brother, let me tell you the story of ‘The Trickster Who Wouldn’t Give Up and The Goddess Who Kept Letting Him Try’.”  Cas nods, ready to hear a story that isn’t porn fantasy related and quickly shoots off a text to Dean.

* * *

 

“Is it sad that I haven’t done most of these things?”  Sam asks, pouring over their finished list for anything that might jump out at them.  Dean sits opposite him in a diner booth, fiddling with the sweetener packets as they wait for their food.

“Not really, but that’s just cause you lacked the suave I had when we were younger.”

“Whatever,”  Sam says rolling his eyes.  

Dean’s phone vibrates in his pocket and he smiles when he sees Cas’ name on the LCD screen.  Opening the text he frowns slightly.

**_Cas:_ ** _ Gabriel thinks he knows his.  From his story, I think I can help Sam narrow down his search.  Find the one from your ‘Trope List’ that Sam may have attempted and failed at, perhaps to some degree of embarrassment.  _

Dean hums at that and shoots back another text.

**_Dean:_ ** _ Out of curiosity, which one is Gabe’s? _

“What’d Cas say?” Sam asks.  Dean sets his phone on the table to look up at his brother.

“Oh, uh.  He said Gabe probably figured his out.  And that, you should consider any of the items on the list you may have attempted but failed miserably at, with comedic results of course.”  Dean reaches for his silverware and absently fiddles with the prongs of the fork.

“Huh, that makes sense.  Embarrassment hex wants you to make right an embarrassing memory.  It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the whole irrational anger thing.”  Sam admits, then returns to his list, tapping the pen to his chin a few times.  “Oh.” His hand comes up to cover his eyes and he groans.

“Yahtzee?”  Dean asks, as he spots the waitress walking toward them, two plates in hand.  “How bad is it?” Sam doesn’t respond right away. He waits for their food to be set down and the waitress to walk away before answering.

“Minnesota, Summer of 1998,”  Sam tells him, picking up a fork and poking at his salad in dismay.  

“Not ringing any bells,”  Dean says in between gargantuan bites of his bacon cheeseburger.  Sam sighs, of course he wouldn’t remember. 

“It was late August and Dad was hunting this ghost on the State Fairgrounds…”  Dean chews contemplatively for a few moments then his eyes go wide. 

“That was the fair with the best food!  Everything on a stick! Deep fried candy bars.  Mini donuts. World’s Greatest French Fries,” Dean moans in remembrance.  “That place was amazing.” Then he takes another bite and is chewing again when it hits him.  “Wait, what does that have to do with your coveted romcom moment?”

“Remember how dad was undercover at the Grandstand and security was so tight for the performers we couldn’t help him?  Well, you went off on your own, eating your way across the entire thing and I met… well, I met this girl.” Sam stops poking his salad long enough to take a moderate bite.  Dean frowns at his brother as he dips a few fries in his ketchup and deposits them in his mouth. Food half chewed and stored in one cheek he asks, 

“How come I never knew about this?”  

“Because it didn’t go well.  At first, it did, we went on the Sky Lift, talked about school starting in a week.  She asked me all about the places we’d lived and what it was like. We talked about physics and history, she took me to the Agricultural Building and the Bazaar.  She was… amazing. Just as the sun was dipping out of the sky she took me over to this ride called  _ Ye Old Mill.   _ Oldest ride in the entire fair, so, of course, I had to see.”  

“Did you not realize where this was going at the time?”  Dean asks, to which Sam shakes his head and Dean chuckles.  “Local girl takes you to all the hotspots and shares all the same interests.  Man, she was smooth.” Sam grimaces at that. “So what was the ride?” Sam winces.

“It was dubbed the ‘Original Tunnel of Love’,”  Sam tells him listlessly. Dean’s eyes bulge.

“Wow, she was really pulling the moves.”  He munches another fry, then adds, “So what happened?”  Sam winces again and wastes time munching a few more bites of salad before he pushes it aside, giving up.  With a giant sigh, he continues.

“It was really dark and the display of leprechauns threw me off.” 

“Wasn’t that a couple months after we worked that leprechaun case where you got bit and had that gnarly bruise for the next year?”  Sam glowers at Dean, but nods and continues.

“So, it’s not totally unreasonable that I overbalanced reaching for my knife and managed to flip the entire boat.”  Dean gasps comically in an attempt not to laugh. Sam squeezes his eyes shut as he admits the next bit. “They had to shut down the entire ride to get us out.  She was wearing this white dress which because of the color of the water, was stained this light teal color. Safe to say when I finally escaped that mess she quickly said goodbye and left.  I guess ‘boy who might be afraid of leprechauns’ was too much of a red flag.” 

Dean’s face is red from holding in the laughter, so he lets out the air in a tight hiss like a balloon deflating, reminding himself to think calming thoughts now and laugh his ass off about this with Cas later.  

“Well, it can’t hurt to try it again.  At least this time you know what to expect.”  Sam rolls his eyes and moves to leave the table. Dean follows suit, pulling out his wallet and dropping  some cash for payment on the table. Sam’s already partially out the door when Dean turns around. Nodding to their waitress he follows Sam out.  Halfway to the car, he feels his phone buzz again so he pulls it out and checks the message.

**_Cas:_ ** _ It appears Kali never did #12 with him.  Along with some other choice words about him and romance in front of an entire crowd.  I hope you and Sam figured his out? _

Which one was number twelve again, Dean wonders?  Opening his picture of the list he quickly counts them out and freezes in place in realization. Then he bursts out a few sharp laughs as he quickly types back a reply to Cas.

**_Dean:_ ** _ I didn’t think this day could get any better, but it so just did.  Be home soon. (:  _

He’s still smiling as he slides into the driver’s seat of the Impala where Sam is already waiting.  

“What’d Cas say now?”  Sam inquires as he tosses the list in the back of the car.

“Just how much he misses me and how he can’t wait until-”

“Yeesh! Okay, no thanks.  Just…spare me.” Dean chuckles quietly as he revs up Baby, the beautiful sound of her growling engine surrounding him is just the cherry on top of his day.  He shifts her into drive and starts back towards home.

Cas and he have some plotting of their own to do.  

* * *

  
  


The brothers return to the bunker to find the heavenly brothers playing… what kinda looks like chess.  But isn’t, because Gabriel keeps changing the pieces to various sexual objects to try and … Sam and Dean glance at each other in confusion effectively communicating that neither has any idea what’s going on.

“And this, Cas, is called a dil-”

“What are you two doing?” Dean cuts Gabriel off with a tone of voice somewhere between offended and perplexed.  Gabriel glances at the brothers then back at the game to which he gestures grandly. 

“Just filling in some much needed educational gaps now that my little bro is in a relationship.  Needed a way to kill the time while waiting for you two.” Gabriel smiles even wider as Dean turns scarlet and rubs the back of his neck.  Cas just nods while still staring at the board and picking up an object that looks like a mini dog toy… but isn’t and starts to talk.

“I find this all fascinating.  Humans can be so creative and-”  Sam explodes, interrupting Cas.

“WHAT THE HELL GUYS!  You can’t just talk about this stuff, this is shit you keep private.”  Sam’s face is red and he’s breathing hard.

“Dude, it’s fine, shake it off,”  Dean tells his brother as he places a comforting hand on his shoulder.  No one sees the punch coming until after Dean is on the floor. Then Sam’s on top of him, hitting him again and again.  Cas and Gabe jump to their feet at the same time but Cas gets there first. So, of course, he’s promptly tossed off to the side, slamming into a bookshelf.  Books, shelves, and dust falling on top of him.

Then Gabe intervenes.  He touches Sam and they both disappear.  Dean groans and sits up slowly, holding his face as Cas shoves aside the books and a shelf which came loose.

“Where’d they go?”  Dean looks side to side, blood trailing out of his nose and swelling quickly forming on the edge of his cheekbone.  They both hear an angry yell from the direction of the dorms.

“I’m guessing my brother is restraining Sam in his bedroom.  For our safety.” Cas says and gets up, walking over to help Dean up and then softly touching his face.  “Your nose is broken.” Dean rolls his eyes but leans into the touch as it trails over his cheek. 

“We need to make a plan,”  Dean tells him as they stare into each other's eyes, at which point Dean remembers the revelation from the car.  “And it’s gonna be epic.” Cas nods at this.

“First let’s get you cleaned up.”

* * *

 

“Gee Samsquatch who knew second-hand embarrassment would get you all hot and bothered,”  Gabriel says from above Sam on his bed. Sam struggles and lets out a yell of angry surprise at his new predicament, but he’s still in an embarrassment rage.  Gabriel has him pinned on his back, hands holding down his wrists above his head and shins are across Sam’s thighs, holding him firmly in place with angelic super strength, despite his smaller size.

“Gabriel, get off!”  Sam yells at him, but Gabe just smirks, staring down at him as Sam breathes heavily and strains to gain freedom.

“It’s a good thing I don’t get embarrassed easily or we’d all be in a lot more trouble.”  Sam still just glares at Gabe but he’s at least stopped struggling. Chest still heaving from the exertion.  “Couldn’t let you just keep beating the crap outta your brother as entertaining as that was… I know you. I don’t want you being more mopey than necessary about it later.”  As Gabe talks, Sam calms gradually. Eventually, his head drops to the pillow, eyes closing, and he fully relaxes. 

“Wow, Gabe didn’t know you cared,”  Sam tells him with a voice full of sarcasm.  Gabe smirks down at him, lowers himself a few inches closer to his face.  

“Look at me, Sam.”  Sam can’t tell if that’s meant to be threatening or not, but he obeys anyway.  His eyes open and finds Gabe closer than he remembered. His breath catches. “Of course I care about you.  I’m in this ridiculous position to keep you from hurting your brother that I don’t even like.” Gabe’s sincerity penetrates through the last of the angry cloud, leaving only thick air between them as Sam swallows down nerves; a pill somehow both skin numbing and skin tingling.  It would be the most addictive prescription drug in the world if it was real. A heady feeling overcomes him as his eyes search Gabe’s face, lingering for an extra beat on his lips that quickly lose their smirk at the attention. Sam’s hazel brown eyes come back to meet Gabe’s hazel yellow. 

“Okay, you do care.  But so do I.” Sam tells the archangel whose eyes appear to melt at the sentiment.  Moments later they cloud over and Gabriel sits up carefully shoving off Sam, then getting up altogether. 

“Well, I suppose our brothers have this whole curse figured out and we’ll be back to our normal selves by tomorrow night,”  Gabe says, not even looking at Sam. He stops by the desk and spins the silver foil wrapped candy. Sam comes out of his momentary confusion and sits up in a rush that makes his head spin for a couple of different reasons. 

“Gabe we were just-”

“Having a moment, I’m aware.  But I don’t do those Sam. Just not me.  I’m the funny guy! I’m the prank guy. I’m  _ not _ the guys who starts to falls for some apocalypse averting human!”  His words end in a shout that shocks the whole room into silence. Even the clock seems to stop ticking and the lights stop buzzing.  Sam gapes at him from the edge of his bed, processing. Gabe turns, takes one look at him and feels his cheeks heating, face twisting in anger at himself.  

“Gabe, you-”  

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sam.  Then we’re done.” A snap is heard and Gabriel is gone. 

“GABE!”  Sam shouts in his now empty room, feeling totally at a loss for what to do.  Sam lays back on his bed, confused and so tired that he’s not surprised to feel his eyes drift shut.  

* * *

 

The next morning Sam walks miserably into the bunker kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.  His head is pounding and the sound of the coffee drip even hurts.

“Wow.  You’re up late.”  Dean comments from the table where he is nursing his own cup of coffee and a plate of bacon with a side of eggs and not vice versa.  Sam winces at the sight of Dean’s swollen and purpling face, with a side of crooked and very red nose.

“Sorry.”  Sam mumbles, gesturing vaguely in Dean’s general direction.  From behind him, a comforting hand touches his shoulder.

“Sit down, Sam.  I’ll grab you breakfast and then you two need to head out.”  Cas nudges him gently and Sam nods, mumbling more thanks as he drops onto the seat across from Dean and rubs at his face with his hands.

“You okay, man?”  Dean asks around a mouthful of egg.

“I will be once we fix this,”  Sam tells him. A mug clinks as it’s placed in front of him, steaming and so dark it’s almost black.  Then the plate follows it, filled with eggs, a few strips of bacon, and some toast. “Thanks, Cas.” The kitchen is silent except for the sounds of munching.  Cas leans back against the center island, sipping from his own mug and Dean inhales the rest of his food but makes no move to clear the dish yet. Instead, he just stares at Sam for a while, like he’s evaluating him.

“You can sleep some more in the car, it’s about 6 hours,”  Dean tells him, finally standing to take his plate to the sink.  He gives Cas a kiss on the cheek as he passes, making them both give each other small smiles.  It makes Sam’s chest clench tightly and he looks away. “Then! Once we get there we can fix this curse.  Cas and I cooked up the perfect plan. After that it’s Juicy Lucy’s to celebrate,” Dean tells him excitedly.  “Win, Win.” Dean turns away from the sink drying his hands on the towel. 

“Have fun.  I’ve got some reading to catch up on.”  Cas says, giving Dean his now empty mug and leaving the kitchen.  

“Looks like it’s gonna be some quality bro time,”  Dean tells him with an eyebrow wiggle that reminds him far too much of Gabe.  Sam pushes around the last of his eggs with his fork, forehead wrinkled in thought.

“Where are we going anyway?”  Sam asks.

Dean just smiles.

* * *

 

Almost 5 hours later and the Welcome to Minnesota sign is flying by outside Baby’s window.  Sam hasn’t slept at all, but he hasn’t exactly been in a chatty mood either, leaving Dean to enjoy having all the time to jam out with his hair metal bands.  There’s some snow on the ground, but only a few inches by the time they reach the State Fairgrounds. Which by the way are totally deserted.

“Dean, why are we even here?  There’s not even anyone for me to flirt with, let alone anyone to operate the ride.”  Dean side-eyes him as he shuts the driver side door to the Impala. The Fairgrounds are like their own small town, but all the food trucks are closed or put away, and there’s not a single person in sight.  

“I figured it would be smart to start with the scene of the crime, then work from there.  Do you remember where it was?” Sam sighs at Dean, shoving his hands further in his pockets to stave off the brisk March winds.

“Yeah, take a left at that giant 1919 root beer stand, then it’s a block up on the right.”  Sam can’t help but think how dumb this is. They didn’t have to come all the way to this one, they could have gone to any love tunnel with any cute girl and Sam’s sure the curse would have been satisfied.  They can’t expect a roamer like him to have any unrequited crushes. It’s just unrealistic. And currently, it’s cold, only a few degrees above freezing. This ghost town of a place barely even resembles the hot summer day when it was packed with bodies and vendors and life.  Sam’s so deep in thought, eyes trained on his shoes as he walks so that he doesn’t notice Dean has stopped till he crashes into the back of him.

“Dean, what-”  He stops, eyes drawn up to the twinkling lights with the sight of dusk settling in the background.  His head whips to look at Dean who has the stupidest smile on his face.

“Well, go on.”  Sam doesn’t budge, slack-jawed and utterly confused.  Dean shoves him and he stumbles forward, closer to the building.  He can hear the sound of running water, the whole front of the ride is open, red and white paint lit up with the classic style fair bulbs.   _ Ye Old Mill _ in black paint on the top.  Sam walks closer, taking his hands out of his pockets, his right hand ghosts over his holster out of habit.  

“Please don’t shoot me when I’m doing you a favor, Sam.”  Cas’ voice calls out to him just as he approaches the beginning of the line barricades.  He steps over them and finds Cas positioned behind the controls. 

“Cas, why are you-”

“Just shut up and get on the ride,”  Comes the sound of another voice somewhere lower than him and out of sight.  Sam goes around the last barricade and sees the red boat in the water, familiar playful eyes gazing up at him from the middle bench seat.  “Thought you were gonna make me wait all day. Makes me feel sorry for all those princess’ in towers. Yeesh.” Sam’s heart starts to beat faster and he can’t hold back the smile on his face.

“Gabe.”  Sam breaths out his name and manages to unstick his feet from the floor.  He carefully steps into the boat and sits down next to the archangel. “You’re here.”  

“I know, it’s amazing how our two normally dense brothers managed to put two and two together.  My dad couldn’t have caused a better miracle,” Gabe tells him full of the usual sass and smiles.  Cas coughs loudly from behind Sam causing Gabe’s eyes to look away from his and up to the ex-angel. “Well, go on.”  Sam can feel the following eyeroll without even looking.

“You’re on your own now.  Text us if anything goes wrong.”  Cas grumbles and then the boat starts to shake as the conveyor belt it’s sitting on propels them into the rushing water.  Darkness quickly closes around them, the twinkling lights fading off behind them as the boat gently rocks them forward with the flow of water.

“So..?”  Sam asks...sorta.

“Turns out we had the same... Wish, mishap thingy.”  Gabe tells him in the dark. Sam’s eyes shoot up into his hairline. 

“And the other two just figured out something we didn’t even know?  About…” Sam doesn’t say what he means, but he thinks Mr. Absolutely No Moments For Me Thanks, gets what he’s saying. 

“Yeah.  Kinda like how we could all tell they wanted to bone for the past however many years and just wouldn’t get over their own personal constipations.”  Sam laughs at that. 

“So you want t-”  A finger is placed over Sam’s lips.

“Not another word or I might have the urge to go punch another mountainside,”  Gabe tells him and slowly pulls his hand off. 

“Did you actually-”

“Yes, small rockslide in Chile but it did the trick.  This curse is a nasty thing.” Sam nods and realizes there’s some light coming from around the corner.  As the boat follows the curve the two of their knees bump together from where they’ve angeled themselves towards each other.  The light is coming from a small display of Leprechaun’s that caused the incident from before, which makes Sam wince. 

“I tried to pull my knife on those cardboard things and ended up flipping the boat.  That sort of thing would easily scare off any sane person,” Sam admits to Gabe then turns back to look at him. Their eyes meet again giving Sam a hit of that same drug.  After a moment of hesitation, Gabe speaks.

“I tried to be romantic for Kali once.  Tried to show her that I actually cared.  She said ‘Romance is for idiots who don’t realize all they really want is the practical things.’”

“Practical things?”

“Sex.”

“Ouch.  Well, I don’t agree with that.”  Sam admits as the light from the display fades behind them, shrouding them in darkness once more. 

“Point to Mr. Obvious as shown by our current locale.”  Sam laughs, nerves making the hairs on his arms raise. 

“So how did Cas get you to do this?  You were pretty mad last night.” 

“For all my brother’s bumbling adorable cluelessness, he’s probably the smartest angel I’ve ever met.  I don’t give him enough credit… He told me I was being an idiot. And for some reason, I actually listened and agreed with him.”

“Wow.  Now that’s character growth,”  Sam teases.

“Shut up.”  Gabe smacks Sam’s arm lightly and when his hand comes to rest it parks on Sam’s knee.  “It’s ‘cause what I said last night is true. I do care.”

“Good.  Now that we’re on the same page...” Sam leans forward into Gabe’s face, surprising the archangel in a way no one really has done in most of his life, but in a way uniquely Sam Winchester.  He feels their hot breaths in the space between them, right on the edge. Gabe squeezes the hand on Sam’s knee and as Sam’s hand grips the back of his neck just before they’re pulled together.  Sealing the deal and killing the hex altogether.

The sound of rushing water around them fills the empty space.  Their chests release as the tension of the curse leaves. They both pull back, Gabe’s other hand now trailing up Sam’s other arm. They both watch as the purple glow flares up and then fades altogether.    

“You caught me off guard.  I was gonna set the mood.” Gabe snaps his fingers and the sound of  _ Puttin’ on the Ritz _ Irving Berlin’s original version fills the tunnel.  Sam chuckles, hand moving up to Gabe’s cheek and stroking a thumb across his cheek.

“Everything about this caught me off guard.”   Then he takes a deep breath, placing another searing kiss onto Gabe’s mouth who responds eagerly.  Sam pulls away again. “Don’t make me put it back up.” It takes Gabe’s mind a moment to catch up, but he nods his head before realizing he’s even made the decision.  

“Yeah, okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Sam.”

“That easy?”

“As long as there are more kisses in the future, you won’t be able to shake me.”  

“Are you talking about me or the chocolate?”  

Gabe laughs.“Both.  Oh, and maybe even at the same time.  That has so much potential.”

“Shut up.”  Sam laughs at him.

“Maybe we’ll add in some  _ Hugs _ too, just to spice things up.”  

Sam shuts him up.

 


End file.
